learning to change

For years I thought the relationship with my civil partner was like a fairy tale. That's because it was a fairy tale. For four years he and I were able to believe that it was possible that two young men on opposite sides of the world could come together and make a lifelong lasting romantic partnership. I am a born romantic. I wanted so much to be loved that I got swept away in an online relationship. Within 2 years of being married the fairy tale turned out to be just another chapter in life. The love of my life stopped believing before I did. And for the years it has taken me to finally stop believing, he has acted (consciously or sub-consciously) out of that realisation. I lived through it telling myself that things would get better, but now I finally realised I've been trying to keep a fairy tale alive, and the weight of that realisation has been more painful than any experience in my life. The last 7 years have broken me.

But I won't die. People only die of broken hearts in fairy tales. I have learned a very hard lesson.